“By 25 at the latest” I will have it all figured out. I will be settled into my career, committed to my lifelong partner, feel secure in where I plan to plant roots and grow, and be building towards an early retirement.
An interesting internal dialogue I had going on for most of my late teens and early 20’s…
The reality now at 26… I have moved countless times and changed jobs even more. I’ve dealt with a stolen car, a mold filled apartment evacuation, moves back home when things got out of control, stress and tears, and watching people I know slowly pass by in all the ways I expected to be ahead. I was blessed in finding my person early on, and we’ve moved through the chaos of being young and lost side by side. But in every other regard, my life in no way mirrored my anticipated trajectory. Much less in the ridiculous timeframe I put on myself of having it all by only 25.
The world today puts an immense amount of pressure on young people who are already fighting a helpless battle against rising prices, lack of foundational career paths, insanely priced education that in no way matches the outcome, jobs that seem to always be “hiring” but never respond, and the constant deafening sound of all the things you could have but don’t in a deadly box that never leaves our hands.
Social media preys on young people, constantly showcasing the one lucky person who somehow did it all and before you. It sells a dream of independence while making you question your work ethic and ambition if you don’t make it happen for yourself.
If you really wanted it you’d make it happen, you’d be up working 16 hours a day finding ways to get money, reselling couches, selling a course, doing side hustles, building a brand, breaking out of the matrix, etc. etc.
But what if 70 hours a week, expensive cars, and constant noise from people you’ll never meet isn’t what appeals to you?
Because that’s where I was.
Desperate to make money, but not so desperate that I was willing to ruin the experience of living in the meantime to make it happen. The flash and excitement of popularity didn’t appeal but social media and creation sold something that I desperately wanted. An escape. A breath of air outside of a mandated 40 hour workweek and the ability to self sustain while still enjoying the process. The problem… it wasn’t realistic.
But don’t worry I tried it all anyways. Online sales, drop shipping, blogs (strictly for monetization), running ads on Pinterest, digital marketing, even reselling courses (I know I hate me too). Everything possible aside from just being myself and accepting that the misleading social media hustle culture simply didn’t match who I am or what I wanted in life.
I think we spend so much time focused on what we don’t have, what we haven’t accomplished, and who we aren’t yet that we end up losing who we are and the gratitude for what we DO have along the way. Because at the end of the day my goal was to gain more time to spend with those I love. But in the process, I lost that time chasing a version myself that was never really me.
So tune out the noise and the dreams and the alternate realities that social media tries to sell. You don’t need to have it all in your 20s, just figure out who you are. That is the only piece that truly matters. Each year you will grow and change and pivot in all different directions, so much so that each year feels like an entirely different version of yourself. Learn to lean into those changes rather than fight them or fit yourself into a box even if initially with good intentions.
You don’t need to be a social media famous millionaire anymore than you need to be a doctor or a lawyer. We’ve transitioned away from blindly going into years of educational debt without a second thought just because it’s what “our parents want,” yet seem to have no issue blindly leaning into an unfulfilling and chaotic social media career just to keep up with some random 20-year-old who’s “making 20k a month day trading!”while using AI images and selling a course on the backend to make his money.
Instead of finding new ways to keep up with the expectations around you, find who you are and what feels genuinely passion driven and enjoyable for who you are to your core. I’m not saying to give up on everything but if you’re constantly working towards something inauthentic to you, eventually you’ll lose yourself and miss out on some really important years of your early adulthood. Sometimes its more important to just enjoy the ride and I wish more people had told me that from 19-24.
It’s okay to simply enjoy living while you’re alive.
So here we are. 26 years old. Living on the opposite side of the country, still lost in many ways, but finding time to just enjoy the journey above all else. No longer searching for the next big opportunity to try to fit myself into the box of, but rather finding the best way to get by and allow time to reflect, live, and learn along the way.
Because, in the end, what good is worldly success if the way you measure a life well lived is in experiences rather than money?
